Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Bill Simmons is going insane

I just read this Bill Simmons column about Sunday's Pats/Chargers game. So how do you think he's feeling? Cheating aside, he's got to be pretty happy that is team looks like a juggernaut again, right? Well, not exactly -

No, NBC was too determined to blow out CameraGate. Before the game, Andrea Kramer reported Turner was taking precautions from a secrecy standpoint, refusing to allow any Patriots personnel into his locker room and even handing his players the first 15 plays Sunday morning instead of Saturday night. Her appropriate reaction should have been, "Wow, making your players paranoid isn't the best way to prepare for a big game, no wonder Norv has been such an underachieving loser for his entire coaching career." But Kramer was treating the topic so seriously and breathlessly, you would have thought she was standing in Iraq with missiles going off behind her.

Yeah, that's right, he spent a whole column whining about how the poor Patriots weren't getting their proper respect because his coach was caught cheating in one of the biggest NFL scandals in years. Not only that, he's clearly driving himself crazy even as he tries to dismiss it as no big deal -

Lemme ask you two questions:
Isn't there a chance that Belichick thought Eric Mangini and the Jets had gained an unfair advantage?
1. Is there a chance -- just a chance -- Belichick has gotten a little paranoid in his old age, and since an undermanned Jets team played them closely in all three Pats-Jets games last season, he spent the spring and summer wondering if Mangini had figured out a way to steal their signals, so he decided to tape their coaches in Week 1 to see if that was true? And then he got caught?

2. Is there a chance Roger Goodell is doing the "I'm leaving no stone unturned" routine because he's so determined to show everyone there's a new sheriff in town (shades of Reggie Hammond at Torchy's), and because it's becoming more and more obvious the previous administration was asleep at the wheel on anything and everything except the next TV deal?

Let me take those, Bill. That would be No, there's no chance.

I really like Simmons' writing. I can read all the way through his 10 million word columns because he's funny, well-versed in pop culture, and generally insightful. But he was a better NFL writer when the Patriots still sucked. I really don't mind a national sports guy being a homer - I hate the aloof objectivity of a lot of the pundits. But come on, you have to have a little perspective. Between his Pats blinders and his ridiculous A-Rod hate, he's hard to read sometimes.

So how about it Bill? Why not just take your 3 Super Bowl wins and be happy, and stop all the bitching?

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2 comments:

Mr Furious said...

The Kramer/Turner part is funny. the two questions are just stupid.

Chris Howard said...

The Kramer/Turner part is funny.

Oh, sure. Even when he's whining he's funny. He's talented and annoying at the same time.