Saturday, December 30, 2006

Dear Bryant Gumbel

I know you're pretty clueless when it comes to football, but when a team fails to convert on third down, and has to punt, it's not the same thing as the other team taking over on downs. If you're going to do this for a living (surely they can't be paying you, can they?), you should perhaps at least try to learn some basics of the game.

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Friday, December 29, 2006

NFL Week 17

Ok, I didn't post last week, because we were busy moving and Christmas shopping and lots of other things, but I was 7-9, and 11-5 the week before, so my overall record going into the final week is 143-97.

New York Giants at Washington - The Giants still have a shot at the playoffs, but they suck about now, I'll take the Skins at home.

Jacksonville at Kansas City - The Chiefs play well at home, and the Jaguars suck on the road, so I'll take KC.

St. Louis at Minnesota - I'll take the Rams here for no reason in particular.

Carolina at New Orleans - The Saints are playing pretty well these days, but I like the Panthers in the upset since the Saints don't have much to play for.

Oakland at New York Jets - I like the Jets over a pathetic excuse for a football team, hopefully the Jets make the playoffs.

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati - I like the Bengals here, only because they're at home and fighting for a playoff spot.

Detroit at Dallas - The Cowboys have been playing lousy on defense lately, but I look for them to take their frustrations out on the Lions.

Seattle at Tampa Bay - I really hate the Seahawks, but I think they'll win this one.

New England at Tennessee - I'd like to pick the Titans here, since they're playing so well these days, but I think the Patriots are clearly better.

Cleveland at Houston - I like the Browns here in a boring game.

Atlanta at Philadelphia - As much as I'll be hoping for the Falcons to win, I don't think they will.

Arizona at San Diego - Good team versus bad team, good team at home. Even if the Chargers are resting people, they should win this one, 27-10.

San Francisco at Denver - I'll take Denver since they're at home, 17-3.

Buffalo at Baltimore - The Ravens might be the least publicized good team this year. I think they win here on the way to the playoffs.

Miami at Indianapolis - As bad as they've been playing lately, I still like the Colts here, at least they won't be rusty in the playoffs this year. Or won't have that excuse, anyway.

Green Bay at Chicago - I wouldn't mind seeing the Packers get in the playoffs, except for all the Brett Favre crap we'll have to hear, but I just think Chicago is that much better and should win.

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Saturday, December 16, 2006

Dear Bill Parcells

First, congratulations on making the playoffs, now hopefully, you can have a better showing than last time you got there.

Second, if you don't teach your defense to cover back out of the backfield, you're not going to get very far. It cost you a game already last week, and had you way too close against an inferior team this week.

And finally, I like Julius Jones, I really do. I think when he has a good game, he's as good as anyone. However, at this point, I can only assume that he has pictures of your wife with a donkey or something, because that's what it would take for you to miss the painfully obvious fact that Marion Barber is just better. He just is, it's undeniable fact. Maybe if he gets the ball in the first quarter, you're not trailing in the third. Give him a shot, at least, he's earned it.

And another football related note, this one directed at the NFL network. Please, I'm begging you, please, please, please, fire Bryant Gumbel. He sucks. He's so bad it's hard to even remember all the shit he fucked up, so I'll just mention a couple. After the Cowboys scored the last TD, their was a personal foul on Atlanta, so Dallas kicked off from the 50, which Gumbel noted, then said "and they still can't get it to the end zone." Of course they didn't you fucking moron, in that situation, you don't want to give them the ball at the 20. You kick it high, just like they did, and get the coverage down there almost as they catch it, and get them inside the 20, which they did, and were further helped by a penalty, so Atlanta started at about the 7 instead of the 20. Another thing, a few plays later, Vick escapes the rush and fires deep downfield, Gumbel exclaims "Whide Open!" but when the receiver comes into view, he has a corner right on him and a safety closing in. They guy is just awful. I'm not a fan of announcers in general, but Gumbel makes idiots like Dierdorf and Mike Patrick look like geniuses. It's sad because he's done other things well, and he just sucks at this. Bryant, you aren't the sportscaster in the family, live with it. You're still rich and famous.

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Thursday, December 14, 2006

NFL Week 15

10-6 last week, for an overall record of 125-83.

San Francisco at Seattle - I'll take the Seahawks here, just because every time I pick them to lose, they don't, so maybe if I pick them to win, they'll lose.

Dallas at Atlanta - I think the Coampa Bay at Chicagpowboys rebound from that awful performance last week and beat a banged up Falcons team.

Tampa Bay at Chicago - I still think the Bears might lose again, but I just can't pick the Bucs to beat them.

Pittsburgh at Carolina - I think the Steelers have it all back together, even though it's too little too late, and I think they'll beat a struggling Panthers team.

Detroit at Green Bay - I'll take the Packers, sinc eI have to pick one of these losers.

Cleveland at Baltimore - Baltimore is better. Also, I'm not sure I've picked the Browns all year, so I can't start now.

Jacksonville at Tennessee - I think the up and down Jags could easily lose this game on the road against an improving Titans team, but I'll still pick Jacksonville because they are the better team.

New York Jets at Minnesota - I'll take the Jets here, even thought their playoff hopes were probably dashed last week.

Houston at New England - The Patriots will rebound from the asskicking they got last week.

Washington at New Orleans - I'd love to see the Saints lose a couple of more games, but it will have to be the last two because they aren't going to lose this one.

Miami at Buffalo - Both teams are improving, I'll take the Bills just because of the homefield.

Denver at Arizona - In my upset special, I'll take the Cardinals. This is the game that should win me the pool this week if all goes well.

St. Louis at Oakland - I'll take the Rams to win on the road, 21-10.

Philadelphia at New York Giants - This one is really a toss-up, so I'll take the Giants at home.

Kansas City at San Diego - The Chargers might just be the best team in the league, which is impressive since they might have lost the best QB in the offseason, I don't see them having any trouble with a Chiefs team that can't win on the road anyway.

Cincinnati at Indianapolis - The Colts have lost 3 out of 4 or something, and the Bengals are playing ok now, but I still like the Colts to win at home, 34 - 24.

Posted by 2 comments

Sunday, December 10, 2006

NFL Week 14

I did all my picks as usual with my insightful commentary, and even included a plug for Toast's Virtual Couch. So of course, Blogger lost it, so here are my winners, because I'm not typing all that shit again:

Pittsburgh
Atlanta
Cincinnati
Philadelphia
New York Giants
Minnesota
Indianapolis
Baltimore
Tennessee
New England
Seattle
San Francisco
New York Jets
San Diego
Dallas
Chicago

I was 9-7 last week to move to 115-77 for the season.

Posted by 6 comments

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Car meme

Toast made this thing, which seems to me more trouble than it's worth, but since he went to the trouble, and tagged everyone with it, I'll go ahead and answer it.

1. Favorite Car?
I've always like Mustangs, but I've never driven one, but I think I'll go with it anyway. Maybe a '66 or one of the really new ones.

2. Favorite Car you've ever owned?
I guess the car I have now, a 2006 Vibe. Nothing special, but it's got more stuff in it than any other car I've ever had.

3. Car you would be embarrassed to be seen driving?
I drive to work everyday in a $500 Mitsubishi Mirage with no AC and windows that don't roll down. I'm not easily embarrassed.

4. Next car you plan to buy?
Something cheap, like a Versa, Fit or Yaris.

5. Next car you would buy for daily use if money were no object?
I'll go with Toast and say a 2006 Mustang Cobra. Either that or a really high end luxury car.

6. What bumper stickers or other decorations, if any, do you have on your car?
None.

7. Average annual miles you put on your primary vehicle?
I have no idea. Am I supposed to keep track?

8. Describe your driving style.
Safe. I just want to get there in one piece.

9. Average highway cruising speed.
65.

10. Fastest you've ever driven?
Somewhere around 100.

11. Do you race people at stop lights?
No.

12. Will you cross a solid yellow or double yellow to pass someone?
Not usually, but if I was sure it was safe and wasn't likely to get a ticket, I might.

13. Do you tailgate or flash your high-beams at people in front of you?
No, I'm not an asshole.

14. Worst accident you've ever been in?
It was really foggy, we pulled off some little side road onto the main road where we were slammed into from behind by some drunk punk in a rental car. The back seat ended up about 90 degrees from where it started. My wife had shoulder surgery, I had a concussion, and still don't remember the actual accident, and my stepson seriously broke his leg (way high up on the femur), and spent a few months in a wheelchair, he was stuck in the car for quite a while as they had to cut him out of it. I've got pictures of the car somewhere, maybe I'll post them sometime. The other driver got 6 years in jail (he had some prior convictions).

15. About how many speeding tickets have you gotten?
2, but they were both bullshit, cops sitting around a corner on a road where the speed limit is ridiculously low.

16. Ever gotten a DUI/DWI?
No, and there was really only one time that I can think of where I was driving and shouldn't have been, and that time I did pull over and let my wife drive.

17. What kind of car repairs and/or maintenance can you do?
Not much, an oil change maybe, but I don't do it.

18. Have you ever modified a car you own from stock?
Modified how? Why?

19. What do you listen to while driving?
Usually sports radio.

20. Favorite driving song?
I don't have one, should I?

21. Do you use an air freshener in your car, and if so, what scent?
No, what am I, a girl?

22. Messy or clean?
Outside is usually fairly dirty, but inside I try to keep at least neat.

23. When you and the spouse/significant other go out together, who drives?
Me, because I'm the man and I'm sexist like that.

Posted by 2 comments

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Best Show on TV

That would be The Wire on HBO. Unfortunately, I made this determination as I was watching the season finale. After a great episode last week, they capped the season with one almost as good. Everytime a scene ended, I looked at the clock and tried to remember exactly what time I had started watching, worried that it would be the end. That's how I realized that it's my favorite show, because as the season ends, I'm more upset about it than I would be for any other show right now. Now, that might change, when Lost returns or if Heroes keeps getting better, but for right now, The Wire is my favorite show.

It seems everytime I talk about something on TV, someone complains about the lack of quality shows, but I have to disagree completely. I'm with Toast, I think we're in a golden age of TV. When a show as great as Battlestar Galactica is fourth on the list of shows I most want to watch, then there must be some pretty good stuff on.

Posted by 5 comments

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Friday Night Lights

SPOILER BELOW



Would someone please, please hire a writer for this show that can write a compelling football game that does not come down to the last play? Also, some knowledge of the game, its timing, and strategy would be helpful.

Oh, and are Member's Only jackets making a comeback or something?

Posted by 3 comments

Saturday, December 02, 2006

NFL Week 13

I went 9-7 last week to put my at 106-70 for the season.

Baltimore at Cincinnati - I suppose I could lie and say I picked the Bengals, but I didn't, so I'm already 0-1.

Arizona at St. Louis - I'll take the Rams here at home in a stinker.

Detroit at New England - The Lions blow, I'll take the Patriots.

San Diego at Buffalo - Buffalo seems to be playing well lately, and with them being at home and the Chargers having to travel across the country, I'm almost tempted to take the Bills. Almost.

San Francisco at New Orleans - I'd like to see the 49ers win this one, but I don't think they will.

Minnesota at Chicago - I think Chicago might drop another game or two this season, but not this one.

Kansas City at Cleveland - For some reason, I really hate the Browns this year and can't make myself pick them, I like the Chiefs.

Atlanta at Washington - The Falcons are sucking lately, but I think they're good enough to beat the Redskins.

New York Jets at Green Bay - I think the Jets can handle a bad Packer team, even on the road.

Indianapolis at Tennessee - I'll take the Colts, I don't think the Titans have two big wins in a row in them.

Houston at Oakland - Both teams suck, but I think the Texans suck a little less.

Jacksonville at Miami - I guess this is why they play the whole season, a few weeks ago this would have been an easy pick for the Jaguars, but right now, I think Miami is the better team, so I'll take them.

Dallas at New York Giants - I look for the Romomentum* to continue as the Cowboys roll over a reeling Giants team.

Tampa Bay at Pittsburgh - The Steelers seem to be picking things up a bit even though it's too little too late, and I think they should get by the Bucs at home.

Seattle at Denver - I really don't like the Seahawks on the road against the Broncos, but I'm scared to pick the Broncos with a rookie making his first start at QB. With the homefield, though, I will go with Denver 17-13.

Carolina at Philadelphia - The Eagles suck, just as I predicted at the beginning of the season, I like the Panthers 21 - 10.

* Normally I would hate stupid made up words like this, but I'll make an exception in this case.

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