Thursday, February 16, 2006

I hate stupid nicknames

It seems that everyone is always trying to come up with clever nicknames for everything all the time. This irritates me. I don't know why. I guess because I'd rather you just call the thing or person or whatever by its real name, then make whatever comment you think the clever nickname makes separately. Also, I don't think they would bother me as much if any of them were at all original, but they always seem to be overused, and then just make me think that someone is just trying to sound clever when they actually are just copying something they saw or heard somewhere else.

Now, specifically, I'm talking about nicknames for political figures. Like Chimperor, Shrub, and Darth Cheney or mAnn Coulter, the Governator, Slick Willie, things like that. But that's just because I read a lot of blogs. It also bothers me when people do this for tv shows, like Press the Meat (although, I did find it funny when I read a Rude Pundit post, which referred to Hardball as My Balls are Hard) or stations, like FAUX News, or stores like Tar-jay and Wally World, or restaurants like Pizza Slut or Taco Hell, or companies like MicroShaft, or AOHell.

Another reason that this bothers me is that while people seem to come up with a never ending supply of stupid nicknames that annoy me, but the one place where I think nicknames are great seems to be all out of good ones. In sports these days, you won't find a decent nickname like, The Bambino, The Iron Horse, The Admiral, The Say Hey Kid, The Round Mound of Rebound, Crazy Legs, or even a Prime Time. Now, all the nicknames are directly realted to the person's name, King James, KG, AI, TO, A-Rod, crap like that. Even when you find a half decent one here or there, Big Diesel or The Answer, it's one the person gave themself. I should also note that as much as I like a few of Chris Berman's nicknames (Like Eric Slepping with Bienemy), most of them suck, and again, they're all related to the person's name, even if more creatively. And his all time worst, that I couldn't stand everytime I heard it: Thermal Thomas. I don't even know what it's supposed to mean, and it sounds stupid anyway.

So what are some nicknames that you guys like or hate? Anyone think of any good current sports ones that are eluding me? I know there must be a few, but they're never commonly used anymore. Anyone care to defend the use of nicknames for political figures? I know a lot of the people I read use them, so I'm probably alone in my hatred. But please, no one try to defend using Tar-jay or Taco Hell, or my opinion of you will immeadiately plummet.

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cookie christine said...

I can't really think of any nicknames that you didn't already mention, but I'm thinkin' that if this stuff really bothers you that much, you know, therapy is always an option.

Robert Bayn said...

You forgot:

The Mircorwave - Vinnie Johnson

The Worm - Dennis Rodman

Spider Legs - John Salley

John Howard said...

The Microwave is a great one. I never heard Spider Legs, but I have heard him called Spider Salley.

icoman said...

Sports nicknames haven't entirely disappeared. This year's SuperBowl had The Bus.

Robert Bayn said...

You might be right John, i think i heard it hear before called as Spider Legs, but normally seems he been called just Spider.

John Howard said...

The Bus is a good one, somehow that slipped my mind. I don't know how it did, though, since SuperBowl Week was Jerome Bettis Appreciation week on ESPN.

But I still think the good ones are rare these days.

Mike Meitín said...

Based on the name isn't that bad if they are clever and not just abreviatons:

The Matrix - Shawn Marion
AK-47 - Andrei Kirilenko
Steve Franchise - Steve Francis

John Howard said...

I just think too many rely on the name directly and are just lazy, but if they are creative, that's certainly better than just abbreviations.

The Disgruntled Chemist said...

Did you know that Kobe Bryant wants people to call him "Black Mamba" because that snake is deadly and can strike from anywhere, just like him?

That one commits two sins: he gave it to himself, and it's fucking stupid. But I've heard people using it, because they're fucking stupid too.

Can I just quit the human race right now?

Toast said...

Well, John, we had a nice run there, but I guess this is goodbye.

I love "Taco Hell". I really, really love "Pizza Slut". (Been using that one for 20 years.) In fact, I love just about any nickname where you can transpose a few letters or change a single letter and get a decent put-down. "Press The Meat" is one of my favorites. But, hey, I like wordplay and puns. A lot. I like coming up with anagrams, too, and clever alternate meanings for acronyms.

(Oddly, though, I think all this puts me in the minority. My best friend absolutely hates puns, which completely baffles me. Most people, it seems, just don't appreciate them.)

So, bottom line, I completely disagree with you on this one. And, yes, I can feel your opinion of me lowering already. It's a dull, throbbing ache. Painful, but a sensation I will have to live with, as I have no intention of renouncing my love of stupid word tricks.

John Howard said...

All right, so I'm probably not really going to have a lower opinion of anyone, but I still just don't get it.

da lil smooth gi says n said...

anybuddy who uses names dat describe eye colour. if dats da most notable t'ing bout 'em, dey r pd lame. "blue eyes" or "green eyes" etc.

dere r a lotta wayzfunny n clever kinda names, actually. how bout all dose inspirations at da amland?

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