Sunday, June 19, 2005

Father's Day

Since I became a father myself, it's really made me think a lot more about my relationship with my father. It's not really something I would ever talk to him about. Not that I would feel uncomfortable talking about anything with him, but just that I don't often talk about my feelings to anyone. Anyway, I'm sure that he knows that I love him, but I doubt he realizes how much I respect him, both as a father and as a person. I'm glad that I have such an example to look up to as I raise my own son, even as I might not be able to live up to it. And I appreciate the how great he is even more, because I knowthat he didn't have that same example to look up to. He had every excuse to be a lousy father, because that's what he had to grow up with. But I know if I told him that, he would dismiss it as not making sense and explain how having such a lousy father made sure that he didn't become one too. But either way, I know that the kind of father that he is to me (and my brother) is all his own doing, without any real role model to look up to, and I appreciate that.

As I watch my son grow, about the worst part of it that I can think of at this point is that he probably won't remember any of the fun we have together in his young life. But that also makes me realize there are probably so many similar memories to the ones I'm creating with my son that my dad shared with me that I don't remember. I hope there are anyway. And I know how much my dad just loves kids, so I'm sure there are. I see these memories as a gift my son is giving me, and I hope my dad feels the same way.

There may be things that I might have done differently than my father did, and that I may do differently with my own son, but I can honestly say that I can't think of anything really wrong that my dad (or my mom) did raising me. My parents weren't very strict, and they never sat me down and told me that I should treat other people well, or that I should respect other people, or drilled any values into my head. But somehow, I got all that from them anyway, I guess just from following the example that they set for me. I hope that as I raise my son, I can live up to that example, and set a similar example for him to follow.

I guess all I really want to say is Happy Father's Day to my dad, because if anyone deserves it, it's him.

Also, Happy Father's Day to my brother (who obviously has the same example I do), my father in law, who has always been there when I've needed him, and my brother in law who is stepfather to one ofmy nieces and two nephews and who is celebrating his first father's day after the birth of his own son.

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