Not really one of those annoying memes since I'm volunteering

A bunch of questions I'm going to answer, just because The Disgruntled Chemist said I wouldn't.

Here they are, I make no claims about the quality of my answers, and keep in mind that I may just be making them up.

1a. What year did you first start using e-mail (on a daily basis)?
About 1995, I guess. I really hate email, I mostly only use it at work these days, but maybe that'sjust because no one ever emails me.

1b. What year did you first start using a cell phone?
2000, I think, but I don't remember for sure.

1c. What is the ring-tone on your cell phone?
Depends on who calls.

2. From where you are answering this, can you see out a window? If so, what do you see?
No, the windows are behind me.

3a. What one physical characteristic would you change about yourself?
My teeth, I have horrible teeth (and yet still manage not to be offended when someone makes a joke about stupid people with bad teeth).

3b. What one personality trait would you change about yourself?
I don't really express myself all that well verbally.

3c. Thing you like about yourself the most?
I'm smart. Like really smart. Like you might think you're smart, but next to me, you're dumb.

4a. Favorite spectator sport?
Football, by far.

4b. Favorite team and/or player in that sport?
The Dallas Cowboys.

4c. Professional sports team and/or player you would most enjoy seeing crushed in defeat?
The San Antonio Spurs. I really hate them for no good reason/ And fuck the Chemist for saying Dallas here, I haven't seen any SuperBowl seasons from the Bills in that time either.

5a. Favorite bumper sticker saying?
I don't like bumper stickers. It would have to be something very clever.

5b. Bumper sticker saying that really pisses you off?
W04

6a. Do you believe in astrology?
No.

6b. Do you believe in extra-sensory perception of any kind?
No.

6c. Do you believe in ghosts?
No.

6d. Do you believe in God?
No.

6e. If you answered "No" to 6a, 6b, and 6c, and "Yes" to 6d, please explain.
Explain what? I said no, what kind of explanation would you need? The people who answered yes should be the ones explaining.

7a. Favorite movie ever?
The Shawshank Redemption. Because that's what Chemist put and I copied this from him, so I didn't have to retype anything, and it's a really good movie.

7b. Funniest movie ever?
Again, I'll just stick with what Chemist said and go with Real Genius, although if I thought emough about it, I could probably come up with something I liked better.

7c. Scariest movie ever?
Movies don't scare me that much, but I remember when I was a kid seeing a movie called Tourist Trap where all these manequins came to life and at the end, they were dancing and it was really spooky to me.

7d. Worst movie you've ever watched in its entirety?
Pokemon, the things you do for the kids.

8. If you were appointed Supreme Dictator of the United States for a day, what one thing would you outlaw? (Note: None of this "I'm not that type of person" crap. Indulge yourself.)
Stupidity.

9. Are you happy?
Of course. What do I have not to be happy about? I have a great family, a good job, I author the hottest blog on the internets.

10a. How many foreign languages are you fluent in?
None.

10b. How many computer languages are you fluent in?
Fluent in C++ and Javascript, but I can do ok with COBOL, Pascal, C, BASIC, Visual Basic, anf I don't have any problem learning any new ones I might need.

11a. What was your major when you entered college?
Computer Science.

11b. And what was it when you graduated?
I'll let you know if I ever graduate (which would have to wait until I actually went back to school).

11c. And what would it be if you could do it all over again?
Hell, I don't know. It's about the only marketable thing I'm really good at.

11d. And if you were to go back to school now strictly for pleasure/self-improvement?
School was never my idea of pleasure.

12a. What one thing about George Bush do you loathe more than anything else?
That he is the President.

12b. Member of the Bush Administration you actually think is evil (as opposed to merely stupid, incompetent, wrong-headed or short-sighted)?
I don't know that any of them are turly evil, but the whole bunch is corrupt to the point that it doesn't make a lot of difference.

13. Do you "share" music with your friends, and if so do you feel guilty about it?
No, I don't really listen to a lot of music these days. If you don't believe it, check the dates of the songs from my Name that Song posts.

14. Favorite comic strip?
Bloom County and Calvin and Hobbes.

15a. Do you consider yourself romantic?
Not really.

15b. Have you found your One True Love?
Of course.

15c. Do you use cute nicknames for each other?
Not really.

15d. If so, what are... No, scratch that. Move along.

16. Ever owned an "exotic" pet, and if so what was it?
No.

17. Physically-grueling activities: Love 'em or hate 'em?
Depends on exactly what it is and what kind of mood I'm in, but in general, no.

18. Have you ever gotten a Letter to the Editor published? If so, what was it about?
No.

19. Would you say you're competitive? Feel free to elaborate.
Sometimes.

20. As a percentage, how much of what you've achieved in life would you say is due to "dumb luck" (e.g. where you were born, who your parents were, random chance, connections you've made with people, etc.) versus hard work, careful planning, and determination? Please round to the nearest 10th percentile.
90%, I was born in a good place to good people, lucked into a good job, met a wonderful woman. My life is pretty good, and I haven't had to work very hard to get it that way.

21. What actor/actress would you want to play you in the Movie of Your Life?
I doubt they'll be making a movie of my life.

22. Favorite philosopher?
If I admitted to having a favorite philosopher, how would that be any different than hanging a big sign around my neck that said: GEEK?

23a. What is the most enjoyable job you've ever had?
I've only ever had three, so I'll go with my current one.

23b. Putting aside talent, training, compensation, and any other practical consideration, what job would you most like to have?
I'd love to play in the NFL.

23c. OK, now taking all the practical stuff back into account, what job do you wish you could have?
I'd like to be one of those greeters at Wal-Mart.

23d. If you won Powerball, would you continue to work any kind of regular job?
I would probably do something, but just part time, and on my own terms.

24. Biggest phobia?
Death.

25a. How often do you worry about death?
All the time.

25b. What's the closest you've ever come to dying?
I was in a really bad car accident in 1998. I didn't really get hurt much at all, but that was probably the closest.

25c. If you could be immortal, would you want to be? (Note: If you answered "Yes" to 15b, assume that person could be immortal with you.)
I'd like to say yes, just because I'm so afraid of death, but living forever would scare me probably just as much.

26. What period in history would you most like to visit?
The future.

27a. Do you think we'll ever achieve interstellar travel?
I hope so.

27b. If you could travel in space, even if it were "just" to a Moon base, e.g., would you go?
I would really, really want to, but I doubt I could actually do it.

28. Name someone of your own gender that you consider "hot". (Note: Answering this does not mean you're gay, although feeling intense discomfort about answering it might. Oh, and if you are gay, name someone of the opposite gender you consider "hot".)
There really isn't anyone. Why on Earth would I ever even think about that? I'd have just as hard a time coming up with someone from the opposite sex too, once I got past my wife. Judging how hot people are isn't something I spend a lot of time on.

29. Book(s) you've tried to read but just couldn't get through that you still plan to read?
The Lord of the Rings, and I'm not watching the movies until I've either foced myself to read the books or finally give up and admit that I will never read them.

30a. Favorite alcholic beverage?
Beer.

30b. How often do you drink alcoholic beverages?
Not often enough.

31a. Do you enjoy taking surveys?
Not usually.

31b. Are you pissed off that I said this was going to be 40 questions and, including sub-questions, we're already at, like, 52?
Yeah, that's kind of fucked up. Asshole.

32. How many of the 50 states have you been to? (Note: For purposes of this question, "been to" can include driving through on the highway, but it cannot include airport stop-overs where you did not leave the airport.)
Somewhere around 25, but most of them just from driving through.

33. Person you'd most like to have a beer with (excluding friends/family)?
If they're not my friend or family, why the fuck do I want to spend time drinking with them?

34. Person you'd most like to punch in the mouth?
Line up the Republican leadership.

35a. Describe your style of driving.
Safe.

35b. If you could have any car in the world -- for daily use, not a "trophy" car -- what would it be?
A Prius, so I could do the Prius wave I learned form Curb Your Enthusiasm.

36. Your Myers-Briggs personality type?
Why the fuck would anyone care about that? Something with Is and Js in it.

37. Favorite color? Explain.
Blue, because I like blue.

38. Favorite season/location combination?
Fall, but I haven't been a lot of places.

39. Do It Yourself or Hire A Professional?
I'd like to do things myself and will usually try just to save money, but If I'm sure I can't do it well, I'll hire a professional (orput it off).

40. It's Friday afternoon, almost quittin' time. Can't wait to get home so you can _____.
Relax and see my family.